I thought I had posted for November, but it turns out I just saved a nearly finished draft without publishing it. I’ve noticed a pattern there. A couple of times this month (that I can remember, at least) I’ve composed but not sent important texts and emails. I’m losing my short-term memory. I think a side effect of working in steno is losing your ability to remember things because your job is to literally hear everything and not listen to any of it. I’ve successfully learned how to switch off that part of my brain, but too bad I haven’t quite learned how to switch it back on again.
Next week is finals week for the hubs. And you know what? I should have known it wouldn’t come without major drama. Between marriage hurdles, school assignments and overnighters, long hours typing and editing, helping friends in need, parenting, caring for a sick dog, church events, upcoming holidays, making sure the bills stay paid and everyone eats three meals a day and has clean socks and underwear (and the list goes on) it just wouldn’t be a full grown-up experience unless something big loomed over us too, overshadowing the smaller daily struggles.
(Goodness, look at that list. No wonder I never feel like exercising.)
Suffice it to say we are in a situation that threatens to end or delay the hubby’s graduation… or put us another several thousand dollars in debt. Choose your poison, right? None of it is our responsibility or within our realm of control. We will know more what direction we’re heading in a few days. I trust the Lord and am using this confusing, discouraging time to seek Him, His kingdom, and righteousness, because I know He will meet the rest of our needs in the way He sees fit. And what an incredible blessing it’s been to draw near to Him, dependent and small.
Isaiah 55:8-9 has been running through my mind after our pastor reminded us of it last Sunday:
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Mulling over, pondering, meditating on, chewing, tasting these verses has brought me great comfort. It’d be nice if things worked out in a way that, you know, makes sense and follows the formula and brings a predictable, secure result. But our God isn’t really in the practice of doing things that way, so who knows what interesting, amazing, bizarre events will happen next?
Contentment. Isaiah 55:8-9. I have not “become content” this year, but I’m crossing it off the list because the Lord is enough, and right now I am experiencing it. He’s the treasure to be found when trials come.
Texas CSR license and RPR Certification; get familiar with my realtime software; proactively incorporate more briefs. I spoke with a videographer the other day who urged me to take the plunge and start realtime reporting. We’ll see how things play out with the hubby’s tuition issue. I plan to keep this volume of work up until he finds a job, so if I test for the RPR, transition to realtime reporting, pay for some training, raise my rates, and invest a little bit more in my career next semester, it might be very helpful (if not essential) to our family’s well-being. If I can’t get pregnant until I can stop working, I may as well use that time to further my professional self.
Pay off credit cards and at least one car. This hurdle remains too high to climb over, especially at this time with hubby’s tuition thing. Dave Ramsey, I’m on board! Hopefully I can get the hubby on board too once this half-decade-long education fiasco is over with.
Make music. Guess what! It didn’t happen till the end of the year, but it happened! I picked up my ukulele not once but TWICE, tuned it, and strummed a few things on it. Because why not? I’m going crazy anyway, so I may as well throw in some pretty-ish noise. “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve” has been stuck in my head. Gosh, how I wish the Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt duo was available on iTunes. Act on the home project urges.
Merry Christmas to you and yours. I’ll be taking time off work at the end of the month so I can bake cookies and sing carols and laugh with loved ones… and try to think about what my goals for 2018 will be.