Not much to report this month; just a lot of waiting and trusting while yet again we experience a financial collapse. The Lord will provide everything we need; but it has been hard for me to exercise patience and self-control. I want to reduce expenses left and right — trade in the cars! downsize! sell the TV, computers, furniture, everything! if it’s not tied to survival, it goes right out the door! use that money to pay down debt! Let’s get OUT of this mess now!
Alas, I am not in charge of my own life, and there are others besides myself not given to such extreme action. I often behave as though my feelings are justified; I shouldn’t have to work so hard for things I don’t want. It runs deep. Lord, I pray this is temporary.
The idol has been identified: SIMPLICITY. Oh, how I would love to live as simply as possible, as minimally and sustainably as possible. Maybe someday. (Maybe not even in this life.) At the end of the day, God is preparing a special place for me in heaven, and He knows me best. Maybe this place is a quiet little house surrounded by green, with lots of open windows and sunlight and no noise except chirping birds and an orange kitty’s purr.
Contentment. Whew, this one has been hard this month. But maybe not the whole month. In the hills and valleys of financial struggle, we’re in a pretty deep valley, one drawn out over the course of a few months. God has supplied me with peace and, thankfully, a lot of work that will pay well starting later this month. We will survive. However, there is a second major difficulty that is taking so long to solve right now and it’s causing us to use up what we saved for taxes just to get by. Now that the hubby and I are on board with getting rid of debt, we have felt pretty discouraged that we’re heading in the opposite direction.
Texas CSR license and RPR Certification; get familiar with my realtime software; proactively incorporate more briefs. My TX license came in the mail this month, so I can officially fly there on a whim if I wanted and take work! It is a comfort that if all else just totally failed big and we had to flee our expensive state for the sake of our bank accounts, we could.
Pay off credit cards, hubby’s student loans, and one car. Ugh, just don’t remind me.
Make music. I finished that one awful transcript (it seriously holds the record) and….. well, I have had constant transcripts since. So thankful for the work — we need it now more than ever! — but I haven’t had a lot of goof-off time as a result.
Act on the home project urges. So many ideas are coursing through my head, foremost among which is a special painting I’ve wanted to put together for our daughter. Hopefully I’ll afford the supplies and the time to paint it in time for her birthday. Otherwise, yeah…. still no money.